One year ago today I was with you when you took your last breath and your loving heart stopped beating. It truly was the worst day of my life. I can’t believe I and the children have been without you for so long.
The pandemic is still causing issues but that won’t come as a surprise to you. It has really changed how I saw things could have been for us this last 12 months but we have had happy times together and life continues within the varying limitations of the pandemic.
I am doing the best I can do for our children in making sure they are safe, happy and most importantly loved. They both miss you so much but we talk about you everyday. You are and always will live in their hearts as you are their daddy.
I am coping but I won’t lie it’s tough. Juggling all the time between being a mum, working and being in control of this wonderful empire you helped to lovingly restore. I’ve learnt and continue to learn new things but the sheer enormity of my responsibilities is hard to face at times. I won’t let it beat me, I will do it.
I always hear you saying things to me and I often think what would Dom do. I am working my way through your list and changes are afoot still with a wildflower meadow planned in the garden for Spring 2022 as you wished and I still need to sort out the garage.
There are so many things I miss about you and of all I just miss you in mine and the children’s lives. Even Eleanor keeps saying it’s not fair and why did you have to die. There are also so many things I’d love to tell you about the children and what they have achieved this last year. You are so dearly missed and we all love you.
I have planned fireworks for tonight. They will symbol light and strength but their presence in the sky will send our love as high as the rockets will go to you and I hope you enjoy the show. Coldplay will be played too as you need music up there. I know you will like that!
I love you Dom. I am utterly heartbroken all over again. I hope I am doing you proud as I am doing my best.